More Than Meets the Eye

Now that the Spider-Man and Pirates blitz has subsided a bit, it's time for the Transformers movie frenzy to begin. Somewhere, there's a despondent GoBot out there who's hoping he can stop slumming as a toaster so he can cash in on some Transformers love. Sheesh, they've even inspired their own Mr. Potato Heads like the Spider-Man and Star Wars spuds. Before movie tie-ins existed, it must've been tough back in the olden days when the only outfits available for Mr. Potato head were a sombrero and a felt mustache.

Mr. Potato Head as "Optimash Prime."
He also transforms into hashbrowns and a carb-heavy casserole.

Even without their popularity validated by a tuber likeness, the Transformers are guaranteed a blockbuster summer. And since their movie is directed by Michael Bay, you know it'll be full of stuff blowing up real good with none of that pesky talky-talk stuff getting in the way to revive your brain (if the ads are any indication, the most quoteworthy line from the film is Tyrese yelling "Bring it!").

Michael Bay's upcoming Lincoln Logs movie will totally kick ass, too.

Transformers is a movie based on a cartoon based on a toy, so you'll end up rooting for characters with incredibly ridiculous names like "Sideswipe," "Tailgate," "Wheeljack" and "Shia LeBeouf." Surely you'll feel stupid in the theater yelling "Bring it, Skid Marks" and "Hooray for Lube Job," so here's a list of possible Transformer character names that I'm suggesting for the inevitable sequel...

Bucketseat
Wiper Fluid
Airbags
Speed Bump
Hummer (the promiscuous "service" vehicle)
Exhaust Pipe
Cupholders
Power Locks
Antenna Balls
Calvin Peeing Decal
Honor Student Bumper Sticker
Spare Tire
Junk in the Trunk

Got your own suggestions? Bring it!