Stop Objectifying My Pretzels!

With Turkey Day around the corner, it's time for me to reflect and give thanks. And what better thing to give thanks for than unintentionally dirty advertising, like this accidental nastiness from Wetzel's Pretzels?

The lunging, circumsized pretzel dog.
The little submissive chef on his knees.
The sting of a salt crystal in the wrong orifice.

Not since the ill-conceived "Cinnabondage" S&M campaign of '98
has a food court promotion generated enough steaminess
to blow up the skirt of cold-fish Auntie Anne.

Here's hoping this won't make you feel forever uneasy when you see a pretzel. At least no more uncomfortable than spending a big dinner with the family. Happy Thanksgiving!