The Doghouse

I'm no preachy veggo-pounding animal rights nutbar. I love meat. I wear leather. I even like fur coats. Yes I said it, I think fur coats are pretty--and so cuddly! Also, why the outrage over fur in partik, isn't leather just as bad?

But I do think animals should be treated as well as possible, you know, until you get hungry or need a new pair of shoes. And pets, well, pets are something else entirely. They're an animal you invite into your home for selfish reasons--you want a friend, you need protection, your feet get cold at night, you're blind--and the animal helps you out with that shit. So they deserve a bit of consideration. They are doing you a solid, you self-centered bastards. Damn.


Nooo, Batman! Ace the Bathound deserves better. And, uh, aren't you dead or something?

So I came upon this article, "Facing Foreclosure? 3 Reasons Not to Abandon Your Pets" and it just seems crazytown to me. Three reasons? How about just one: because it's a terrible thing to do, and if you do it, then you're a (homeless) monster. Is that not reason enough to let Fluffy take up residence in your car with you? Or at least take her to a shelter, or ask your friends who are better with money than you are to take her in? Sheesh.

But I still kind of can't get over it. I know people are generally crapbuckets, but don't people allegedly love their pets or something? I've loved all my pets and could never do something like that. In fact, I had a cat, Nigel, and because he loved my sister more than me, I gave him to her permanently when I moved away from Ohio. I mean she threatened to kill me if I took him, but the point is, I did what was best for Nigel, not the selfish thing that was best for me.

But still, there the choices were Nigel has a home in Seattle or Nigel has a home in Cleveland. In no way can I fathom just locking up the house that's no longer mine with my cat or dog still inside. What kind of fucked up heartless-ass shit is that? And (I think the article mentioned this) pets bring you comfort. Why would you give away one of your best friends at a low point in your life? I guess these people are bad with money, cold-hearted and stupid. You'd almost feel sorry for them if they weren't worthless cockknockers who don't deserve any sympathy ever at any time.

Fuckers.