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Saturday, December 12, 2009

Board of Movies

With the success of the Transformers and G.I. Joe movies, the floodgates have opened for just about every board game and toy to be turned into a movie. The short list includes the upcoming Monopoly directed by Ridley Scott, Battleship directed by Peter Berg, Risk starring Will Smith and Candyland, Ouija Board and Stretch Armstrong movies.

It seems nothing is off limits, so we're throwing our hat into the Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em ring. Here are our pitches...

Other nostalgia-based kid properties we recommend for the movie industry:

Trivial Pursuit
Jason Statham stars as a fed taunted by a terrorist who strings him along with a trail of trivia questions about Geography, History, Entertainment, Sports & Leisure, Science & Nature and Arts & Literature.

The Da Vinci Code meets National Treasure, although we're pretty sure they've already met and date-raped each other plenty of times. In this version of the globe-trotting scavenger hunt, Robert Downey, Jr. hunts down treasure by unscrambling clues that are revealed whenever he shakes up his Boggle shaker.

Mouse Trap

James Cameron's next mega-budget movie. Just getting the damn marble down the stairs and the bathtub thingie to work cost him $350 million.

It stars Dane Cook. Being aggravating. Because he's annoying.

Starring Angelina Jolie. She's fun for a girl and a boy

Gwyneth Paltrow stars as an uppity careerist who can find success is business but not in love. It's your basic rom-com except every 60 seconds, the movie screen pops out and freaks the living shit outta you.

Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt reunite to show us what their characters did when they weren't chasing tornados.

Parkour-loving preteens click out the wheels in their sneakers to evade Triads when they become mixed up in a heist directed by McG. Features the quotable line, "This shit is gettin' wheel!" and the tagline, "Get ready to walk and roll."

Directed by Diablo Cody and starring Ellen Page. Just when you thought the toy couldn't be more precious or cute.

Lincoln Logs
A costume drama starring Meryl Streep as a widowed pioneer and Philip Seymour Hoffman as the mysterious woodsman helping her rebuild her life log by log.