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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Comic-Con Day 3: Because Nerds Love Trilogies

I just got back from Comic-Con 2008 and, boy, is my hyperdrive tired! Anyway, it's good to be back in the land of deodorant and people who don't wear chain mail, but I still had a lot of fun at the convention, checking out the latest toys, movie premieres, celebrity panels and after-parties.

Here's my report from Saturday's events...

He-Man fans were soaking their furry shorts at the entrance to the Mattel booth, which was decked out like Castle Grayskull.

"Hulk smash! No, wait. Hulk spoon! Hulk spoon!"

Rainn Wilson moderating The Office panel. The best part was when an audience member asked if they would do a musical episode, maybe in a dream sequence. Um, how do you do a dream sequence in a show that's supposed to be a documentary?

The Office writer/performers, BJ Novak and Mindy Kaling. We once ran into BJ leaving Canter's Deli. He's short.

Upcoming Mighty Muggs for Indiana Jones and Marvel.

Unicorn photo opps for those who love Harold and Kumar and/or Sarah McLachlan.

Poison Ivy anime figure.

Batman and Robin constructed out of LEGO blocks.

The cast of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, including Summer Glau, Lena Headey, Thomas Dekker and Brian Austin Green, who's Public Enemy #1 with nerds nationwide since he was engaged to Transformers hottie Megan Fox. As if speaking fluent Klingon would give you the edge over David frickin' Silver.

New McDonaldland figures that will probably outsell the McRib. Rumor has it these taste better, too.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The security at Comic-Con looked scary enough, but they couldn't hit the broadside of Shipwreck's party boat.

Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof makes a surprise appearance at a Marvel panel to drop off the script for the next chapter of his Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk comic. It's funny because the script has been infamously overdue for two years. It's even funnier because that much time passes before anything happens in Lost.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force plushes, for those who like lint in their fries.

The Sci-Fi Channel gave out the funniest bags at the convention -- made specifically for the metrosexual Battlestar Galactica fan.

Patton Oswalt moderated the panel for The Sarah Silverman Program, which returns in October. He also made Ratatouille sex jokes about sitting on Brian Posehn's head while he pulled his hair to make him "do things."

Fellatio jokes! Here's a video clip of Sarah Silverman and the cast of The Sarah Silverman Program telling a story that will touch you... down there.

The best part of the panel was that I overheard three different audience members asking other attendees if they thought that Jimmy Kimmel would make an appearance. Instead of replying, "Sarah and Jimmy just broke up," I overheard two of the three people reply, "Who's Jimmy Kimmel?"

Friday, July 25, 2008

Comic-Con Day 2: Nation's IT Guys Go Missing for Second Day Straight

It's Day 2 of Comic-Con 2008, and it's even more crowded with attendees and more of them are wearing costumes. The most popular outfit is probably the Joker. Second most popular outfit? Is "awkward social retard who smells like Doritos" an outfit? Oh, I kid cuz geeks are the new cool and, besides, nerds actually smell more like Corn Nuts.

Here's the photo roundup from Friday's festivities...

Gangsta Babies! Quite possibly the best toy shown at Comic-Con. Let's just say some blood has been spilled in the Cabbage Patch, yo.

New Star Wars Galactic Heroes toys that are Christmas-themed!!! Seriously. I particularly like the gifts skewered on the lightsaber kabobs.

This Indiana Jones is made entirely out of LEGO blocks. Meanwhile, the latest Indiana Jones movie was made entirely out of crap.

It's like the toymakers are reading my mind!

Emily Blunt and Benicio del Toro promoting their upcoming film, The Wolfman. I can't believe he showed up in costume. No, wait.

A new doll of Gizmo from Gremlins.

A hand-painted custom van designed by Tokidoki for Hot Wheels.

Samuel L. Jackson takes a stand. I'm not sure what his mic is doing down there, though. That's comic artist Frank Miller on the left, who's directing Sam in The Spirit, which opens this Christmas.

Sam Jackson and Jaime King promoting Will Eisner's The Spirit.

New G.I. Joe toys from Hasbro.

The new James Bond car from the upcoming 007 movie, Quantum of Solace. Yeah, I have no idea what that title means, either.

Not quite as cool as the 007 car, but the Nerd Herd from TV's Chuck would probably know what the "Quantum of Solace" means.

Comic-Con Night 1 - The Lost Boys 2 World Premiere

If you know me at all, then you know there are three things I like: puppy dogs, receiving a not-guilty ruling, and The Lost Boys. You'd also know that there's a fourth thing, which is that I lie, but I actually am a fan of the 21-year-old cultish vamp-camp flick, The Lost Boys. Last Thursday night, Comic-Con hosted the world premiere of the long-awaited sequel, Lost Boys: The Tribe, and the movie is actually very faithful in spirit to the original without the cheesy direction of Joel Schumacher. I give it a rousing "surprisingly not that crappy" review (I'm no Roger Ebert, but I think my endorsement is way more descriptive than a thumb) and I recommend that you secretly open your neighbor/coworker's outgoing Netflix mail to see if maybe they rented it and if you could sneak a screening before it gets sent back.

Corey Feldman, in full-on non-ironic rock star mode, introduced the film along with the sequel's director PJ Pesce. I think that's Italian for pajama fish.

The straight-to-DVD movie offers some genuine laughs, cheap thrills, way more gore and nudity than the '80s movie and several winky-wink nods to the original. It's just dumb fun. Plus, it costars Corey Feldman reprising his role as Edgar Frog and it boasts cameos by the original's stars, Corey Haim along with that one dude who played the other Frog brother. This time around, the story is about a recently orphaned brother and sister who move to Luna Bay, where they cross paths with the local surfing vampire rebel teens. Instead of being led by Kiefer Sutherland, the new Drac pack is helmed by Angus Sutherland, who's Kiefer's half-brother with a half-as-cool first name.

The movie's stars, Autumn Reeser, Angus Sutherland and Tad Hilgenbrinck. I actually felt just a tad hilgenbrinck'd after watching the premiere.

After the screening, Jamison Newlander and Corey Feldman fielded audience questions in character and in costume as the Frog Brothers. They both deny the existence of a "Corey Haim."

After they gave me free vampire fangs, I felt obligated to promote their movie.

That vampire dude is totally checking out her neck.

I have a theory that Hollywood needs to keep the two Coreys employed because if it doesn't, they'll occupy themselves with something stoopid that'll kill them and the movie industry will have blood on its hands. The same theory holds for Martin Lawrence (which explains the existence of Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins and College Road Trip). Thank you Hollywood for keeping the Coreys alive and I look forward to the License to Drive sequel with a guest appearance by Martin.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Nerds Descend Upon Comic-Con Day 1, Parents' Basements Vacated Nationwide

San Diego - I'm reporting from the floor on the first day of Comic-Con 2008, also known as a mass gathering of the world's fattest Jedis and sweatiest Muggles. This is actually the first time I've attended the convention solo, so I have no one to run interference for me when the she-nerds start undressing me with their eyes and then promptly begin redressing me as Doctor Who. Tell my story if I don't return alive after this weekend.

Anyway, here's a gallery of some of the cool toys and sights I photographed on Day 1 of the geek-a-palooza.

Real-life Uglydolls. Strangely, they were probably two of the most attractive attendees at the show.

I take that back -- Autumn Reeser (The OC) was probably one of the more attractive attendees at the show. She was there promoting her new straight-to-DVD film, Lost Boys: The Tribe.

Galactus Mighty Mugg. In stores this November.

More new Mighty Muggs: Thor, Punisher and The Raiders of the Lost Ark fertility idol, which is available exclusively at the convention.

A sterling silver My Little Pony to commemorate the toy line's 25th anniversary. I think this thing poops out nickels.

Top things overheard at Comic-Con Day 1:

1. "We have 'No Vowels Day,' where we text each other without using vowels. It's hilarious!"
Hilarious? It sounds fckng stpd.

2. Nerd #1 to Nerd #2 with the handlebar mustache: "I enjoy your mustache."
What do you do, Mustache Nerd? Tie damsels up to railroad tracks? What I'd really enjoy is your absence, geek.

I totally had to fork over my man-cred to photograph this, but Jenni loves these Tonner dolls. This one is Phantom Zone Supergirl.

Poison Ivy and Aquaman Tonner dolls.

Lara Croft Tonner doll.

The many flavors of Darth Vader, part 1:

The many flavors of Darth Vader, part 2:
DJ Sith

Some people dressed up as Star Wars LEGO figures.

Kevin Smith is fat.

Check back here tomorrow for Comic-Con news...