Bale Privilege

Esteemed actor and Batman-about-town Christian Bale had a bit of a bad day on set while shooting Terminator: Salvation, and ripped into the Director of Photography or an Associate Director--well, someone named Bruce got tore the fuck up. Hopefully you've had the pleasure of listening to Mister Christian's rant, but if not, you really owe it to yourself to take a listen. And kudos to the creator of this clip for setting it to a pic of Bale's character from American Psycho.



The man knows his way around the word "fuck," and I likes me a man who knows his way around the word "fuck." For serious, I want Christian Bale to be my new best friend, which I said today to Jason, my actual best friend, as I listened to this.

Now from the small amount I know about show bidness, show bidness people, and the like, I have to deduce that this type of fuckstorm is all too common, they just don't usually let the sound guys capture it and it tends not to get out because of Hollywood magic and shit. Also, from all accounts, Christian Bale seems like maybe he has a touch of a temper.

With that in mind, here are some select things Christian Bale has probably screamed at members of the cast and crew from past productions he's been involved in. See if you can guess the flicks!

"Larry, you fucking twat. I specifically asked for half-and-half, not non-dairy creamer. Be a fucking professional for once in your life. Next time this happens, I'll shove a Batarang so far up your ass, you'll taste The Joker's greasepaint."

"Fuckass ball mittens, are you fucking kidding me with this fucknugget asshole-ass line reading, Winona? Have some respect for your fucking craft. You really are a very small woman, with an even smaller talent."

"I'm going to skullfuck the next fucking cockknocker who asks me what the fucking dragon's motivation is. Do I have to prepare for everyone? It's a fucking dragon, even I'm not that fucking method."

"Who the fuck do I have to blow around here to get a fucking newsboy cap that doesn't make me melon look like a bleeding ballsack?"

Garbage Disposal on NBC’s “Heroes” Tricked into Supervillainy by Lex Luthor

If you’ve been watching NBC’s new series Heroes, you’ve probably been wondering who the big supervillain will be for the show’s ad-hoc league of superheroes. After two episodes, the big baddie has finally been revealed, and it’s not some evil uber-genius. It’s a garbage disposal.

Appliance company Emerson, the maker of the incredible InSinkErator (how’s that for a supername?), is suing NBC for last Monday’s episode, which depicted the indestructible cheerleader mangling her hand in the company’s garbage disposal.

Note to NBC: Garbage disposals are our friends

According to Emerson's lawsuit, the Heroes scene depicted the InSinkErator in a negative light because most disposals grind up celery and leftovers in the name of justice, although the ill-conceived Bizarro line of InSinkErators are a totally separate issue.

The lawsuit further argues that Heroes is suggesting that a disposal could "cause debilitating and severe injuries, including the loss of fingers, in the event consumers were to accidentally insert their hand into one." It’s so true it’s absurd! If the Heroes episode isn’t changed, Emerson will eventually have to sue NBC because "people can’t really fly," "dudes can’t bend time" and "Ali Larter really isn’t famous for anything."

Note to superheroes: Garbage disposals are your enemies

In other news, Justin Timberlake and his former bandmates are suing Emerson for appropriating the name of their patented *NSyncErator, a device that momentarily made Lance Bass straight during their recording career.