Comic-Con 2011 - Friday: Geekocalypse

Here's the Friday roundup of Comic-Con activity including South Park, Kevin Smith, Nintendo, Real Steel and more!


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As Seen in L.A.

Random pictures we took around town! Wheee!

"Ded cat at every turn."
I think it was supposed to be "Dedication at every turn."
Or, "A chicken in every pot."
Or "A woman in every port." Something like that.

Posted on Melrose Avenue by a lover of the ladies.

Somewhere between the sex and drugs,
rock stars are livin' the dream of rinsing and repeating.

I totally broke my ass on that sign while trying to read it.
I broke it again on the second sign, too.

I Hope That the Light Will at Least Change

It's not even election day, but it looks like every crosswalk in L.A. wants you to vote Republican. I took this photo in front of The Standard on Sunset Boulevard...

"Push button for McCain."
I couldn't do it, so a whole hour passed before I was able to cross.

Satan Loves Hot Girl-on-Girl Action

If you're gonna go to church, you might as well go to one run by a pastor who writes his sermons while shakin' his moneymaker to the beat of your local KISS, STAR, Z-something or whatever other pop radio station is big in your town. Or maybe not. In Blacklick, Ohio, a homophobic pastor seems to think the whole sapphic sentiment of Katy Perry's chart-topper, "I Kissed a Girl," will damn you straight to hell.

Who knew the taste of cherry chapstick was so evil?

She kissed a girl and I liked it. Then they had a pillowfight in their lingerie and I liked it even more.

Personally, I think hot chicks making out is the best kinda gay there is, but besides that, I have a lotta other problems with this church sign:

1. In the context of a sign, Katy Perry's lyrics could very well have been something spoken by a dude, which I assume the church wouldn't say would damn you to hell. First base is okay in everyone's book, despite what my harassment record might indicate.
   
   
2. Aren't there worst musical acts to criticize? Like, I don't know, maybe Nickelback? Seriously, those guys must've made a deal with the devil to still be popular for releasing the same crappy song over and over.
   
   
3. As any late-night viewer of Cinemax would agree, there is absolutely nothing wrong with two women locking lips. At least until your roommate walks in unexpectedly and catches you watching Forbidden Co-Ed Confessions. Then it's just plain embarrassing. But it's not a sin. Otherwise God wouldn't have given us that many premium cable movie channels.
   
   
4. Um, this incident happened in a town called "Blacklick."
   

If the pastor is as uptight as he seems, he could really just swap out the first two lines of his sign with any other lyrics from a current pop song and then just tack on the "then I went to hell" part after it. He might be onto something... Sorta like the how you add "in bed" after reading a fortune cookie fortune. Try it:

Colbie Caillat's "Bubbly":
"It starts in my toes, and I crinkle my nose... then I went to hell"

Weezer's "Beverly Hills":
"Beverly Hills, that's where I want to be... then I went to hell"

Anyway, if you're feeling creative, please submit any other song lyrics that would sound good followed by "then I went to hell." Otherwise, I'll see you in hell!

Great Ball o' Fire

For much of my adult life, I have made a study of badassitude. You see, I was born a badass, and I am proud of it.

All the world loves a badass, but I don't just want to love the badasses around me, or the badass that is me. I want to understand badassitude, I want to cultivate badassitude, I want to celebrate badassitude. Badasses deserve their time in the spotlight, too.

Though true badassitude is rare, you can find it in many surprising places.

Now, I don't know this little fella's name, but I can tell you this: little yellow computer-generated fire hat dude is BADASS. Look at his face. There's like, 85 emotions in there at once. He's concerned, but he's also a little pissed at you for having to be reminded about this shit. He is serious, but he is playful--goddammit, his eyes are playful.

He is raw power in a rotund, jaundiced, hatted package. You can smell the baditude on this mofo a mile away. You can taste it on your lips.

He's so badass, he doesn't need a name. Or a body. Or a firehose. He puts out fires (and gives safety lessons) through sheer force of motherfucking badass will. If he thinks too hard about putting out fires, the sun will go out and then we'll all be fucked. Do not make him think too hard about putting out fires, I am not in the mood to freeze to death.

Possibly the greatest thing Mr. badass fire hat yellow guy has ever appeared on is sadly not available on the internet, and I keep forgetting to bring my camera to try to take a picture of it from a moving car on my commute home, but I will try to convey the subtle beauty and force-of-nature-level impact of it. Our stoic, fire-hatted hero is placed in the center of a rippling turquoise background; ah, yes, it's the water in a pool. Arranged around him, the stirring slogan: "Children drown without a sound." And then there's some other stuff on there but I forget what it says. Something about installing fences around your pool or hiring a lifeguard or some shit.

Young, pre-fire hat badass before he learned all about fire safety.

Unfortunately, I cannot give you the pleasure of first encountering him in this setting, but this is how I first met the badass fire mascot, and I think you can understand why he's affected me so deeply. Here is a fire mascot, a bit top-heavy but undeniably masculine, dignified in his fire hat, clearly a symbol for stopping, dropping, and rolling--and he's concerned about water-related safety, and children. Is there no end to his heroism? I don't know where he keeps his heart, but it must be enormous. There are lifeguards and whoever teaches people how not to accidentally kill their children to deliver this message, but no, that's not good enough for him. He needs to get involved on a personal level. Fuck, now I'm weeping.

Damn badasses get me every time.

The Da Vinci Crossing

Oh, Lame Saint! To promote The Da Vinci Code movie (in case there's anyone out there who hasn't heard of it yet), a "So Dark the Con of Man" sign was placed on Sunset Boulevard next door to the Directors Guild of America in Los Angeles. Eerily enough, there's a crosswalk sign nearby that cosmically places the Man in the street sign directly over the "Man" in the Da Vinci billboard. Is it another code? Is it a cover-up created by albino city planners? Don't ask me -- I'm still trying to solve the mystery of Tom Hanks' mullet.


Conspiracy? Where's the female in the street sign above? Could she be Mary Magdalene?

Coming Soon--Get It?

L.A. is home to many excellent artists and craftsmen. This sign, snapped on the world-famous Sunset Boulevard, is proof. Where to begin? Like a fine diamond, the color and clarity of this piece are simply outstanding. Who wouldn't want to purchase their spy gear and security systems (pepper spray!) from the shop "next door" to this enticing, high-tech window display? The Thai Massage coming soon, presumably to the same location? A delightfully unexpected bonus. This store is one-stop shopping for the paranoid, desperate nerd in your life. Do click the picture to savor the nuances of the sign, mere words cannot do it justice.

L.A. Photo Essay: Little Tokyo and Chinatown

Downtown Los Angeles, CA -- Yesterday, we spent the day in Chinatown and Little Tokyo, which normally would be a non-story unworthy of sharing. However, on this particular outing we decided to take our cameras to photograph some of the unusual sights.

Well, it's still a non-story, but now you can see for yourselves...

Available next to the Crack Gum and Crystal MethSavers Breath Mints

That's supposed to say "Flying Fish," right? Either this is a renegade restaurant that fries its sushi or Toys "R" Us had some extra R signs lying around.

The Foo Chow Restaurant boasts, "Jackie Chan's Rush Hour, a best seller movie was shot here." I hear the book was a blockbuster, too.

Window display for the Foo Chow Restaurant. Obviously, the window dresser smokes Ecstacy Cigarettes.

This is the creepy window display at the entrance of the Foo Chow Restaurant. It's a doll toting around a live chicken in a basket and a frying pan with a crab in it. For some reason, she's floating above international landmarks like the Eiffel Tower and the Sydney Opera House. Are we being led to believe that Foo Chow delivers worldwide or that their delivery drivers are all from the Village of the Damned?

Rock, Don't Walk

Photographed across the street from CBGB's in New York City, February 18, 2006.