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Friday, June 01, 2012

Fuck This, We Out

I know this may come as a shock to everyone, but sometimes we don't pay attention to every little detail. We're idea people, you guys. We're not cut out for all of the minutia of today's modern world. So imagine our surprise when we found out that there's some sort of limit on how many images we could have on our blog before Blogger started charging us money. What are we, criminals? I don't want to start any shit or anything, but we got into this whole blogging thing for various reasons--hooking up with sexy singles, spouting outlandish 2012 apocalypse theories, ensuring that none of us can ever be President, etc.--but let me assure you that spending money to post images was not on the list.

So we have moved over to Tumblr, where the .jpgs flow free and easy for everyone to enjoy. They have .gifs there with so many memes their memes have memes and even their memes' memes are memier than the memiest meme you've ever heard of. Why did we do this? Because words are BORING, clearly. Look at you. You're bored right now, just reading this. And why wouldn't you be? There's nary an image to be found! You're not an animal! How is our highly-evolved audience to be sated on text alone? It CAN'T. And to suggest otherwise would be madness.

Please join us, won't you dear reader? Journey with us to this new land of the Tumbles. Jenni and Jason promise to entertain you with their wit and charm and dick jokes. And images, glorious images! A veritable feast for the eyes. They dream of a land with an image for every sentence. I, as usual, promise nothing. You people don't own me!

See you there.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Monday, December 12, 2011

Breakin' It Down: Do They Know It's Christmas

"Do They Know It's Christmas," the greatest of all Christmas carols, was written in 1984, just as George Orwell predicted it would be. That dude was dope.

But what makes it so amazing, aside from the Bananarama backing vocals, are the transcendent lyrics. They are the greatest of all Bob Geldof's many accomplishments, which, to give non-Boomtownratophiles an idea, include naming a child "Fifi Trixabelle," inspiring a certain Graves Disease-eyed cat to hate Mondays, and goading Phil Collins into making a huge ass of himself by helicoptering/Concordeing/jetting/rocket roller-skating to all 100 Live Aid concerts around the world, thus spending approximately 20 times the amount raised by The Concert for Bangladesh, Band Aid, Live Aid, U.S.A. For Africa and that "Sun City" song combined.*

While no one blog post can be expected to fully cover a subject as rich and deep as "Do They Know It's Christmas" were gonna give it the ol' Phil Collins around-the-world try, taking an in-depth look at the lyrical (and vocal) genius and of this holiday heartwarmer.

It's Christmastime. There's no need to be afraid. At Christmastime, we let in light, and we banish shade.

Right off the bat, Geldof (and co-writer Midge Ure, I suppose, tho I think he stuck mainly to the music bits) distinguish DTKIC from all other Christmas carols by dispensing with the normal admonishments to watch your ass/be afraid/man the fuck up and stop crying and, in fact, suggest the opposite. Contrast that with "Jingle Bells," widely accepted to be a coded warning about the bands of rapists known to travel by sleigh to terrorize the snowbound countryside in the 19th century, or "Deck the Halls," which is literally about the horrors of architecture abuse.

As a grace note, these words were sung in the final version by Paul Young, who agreed that Xmas was a time when no playhouses would be torn down.

Incidentally, I always thought it was "...and we banish hate" which doesn't make sense but "shade" isn't exactly making a ton of sense either. I can't remember ever feeling like "damn, y'all, it's too shady 'round here for Christmas." Also, I'm guessing they wouldn't mind a little shade in Ethiopia, shade is always welcome, even at Christmas.

And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy. Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime.

I think they actually meant we have a lot, and because of that, we can spread joy, via hugs and those weird, giant bags of rice. Not in this world of plenty we should spread joy. I mean go ahead and spread joy, but be sure you're spreading those weird, giant bags of rice where they're needed.

Oh, shit. Did you guys know that Bob Geldof shamed Boy George into hopping on the Concorde from New York to get to the recording session to do this part? Which was correct. Who better to say, essentially, "hug the world," than Boy George? He's a glamorous cartoon of love, hats and braided hair, and can tell us to hug the world with authority.

The Wikipedia page has some fun info on the recording of the song, particularly if you're into Boy George being bitchy to George Michael. I like to imagine it as a super catty, British Pop Spy Vs. Spy comic, although it was surely absolutely nothing like that.

A Boy George/George Michael slapfight would be an amazing Christmas gift for me, if you can swing it.

But say a prayer, pray for the other ones. At Christmastime it's hard, but, when you're having fun...there's a world outside your window, and it's a world of dread and fear.

I just started geography classes in night school but I'm still pretty sure right outside of England's window is like, water and Ireland. And then dread and fear, just beyond that. These lyrics are kind of awkward but I guess it is hard to transition from banishing shade to fear and famine.
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears.

This is a bit of hyperbole--there was definitely a horrible drought but I am relatively sure if there was absolutely no water, they'd all just have died in a few weeks? I dunno, I don't start my "Dread, Fear, Famine and Drought" night school class until next quarter. I do know the political sitch in the area made the famine worse than it needed to be. So there's that.

But, more importantly, everyone in the world loves that Sting sang the word "sting."

And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom. Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you!

Daaaaaaaaamn. Surely two of the most hardcore lyrics in not just charity song history but also regular song history. The "thank God it's them instead of you" bit really does make you think, will confirm any existing atheism in your heart and can still, to this day, make you feel guilty as fuck. I feel guilty for not being part of a horrible famine RIGHT NOW. I'm throwing all the rice in the house into a package to send back in time to do my part. I hope they like Rice-a-Roni in the past! Oh, wait, if I send 2011's quick-cook, flavored rice back in time to famine-stricken Ethiopia, will I create some type of temporal anomaly? Too late, I sent it.

Oh, and also. Sting/Bono. These are the dudes you want dropping guilt bombs. Bono sings the night-silencing shit out of "Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you!"

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime.

I dunno, there might be, yo. If anything, they gots mountains there. Kind of beside the point. Stay on track, guys.

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life (Ohhhhhh)

I guess the point is to preserve life, always, but isn't death kind of a gift when you're in a war-torn, drought- and famine-stricken, soon-to-be-visited-by-locusts type of situation? No? O.K. then. Carry on.

Where nothing ever grows, no rain or rivers flow.

Hyperbole. We covered this. They kind of make Ethiopia sound a lot like the moon.

Paul Young basically sings half of this song. Was he that big a star in England? You can't give Jody Watley a line? Phil Collins? Way to be stingy with the verses. If we followed your example, we'd be stingy with our rice.

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Yes, probably. They also probably didn't really give two shits, given the situation.

Here's to you--raise a glass for everyone. Here's to them--underneath that burning sun.

Now they're making things sound happy and Christmassy again...and then BAM! They're all like, "There's still a famine, y'all. And it's HOT." Back then we couldn't do a couple quick internet searches and learn that Ethiopia's climate is actually pretty similar to Southern California, very generally speaking. Burning sun, not so much. Well. Maybe to British blokes, that is burning.

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Yeah I said they probably do know already, but they really probably do--there are totally Christians in Ethiopia. They have a lot of the same religions we do, you guys! Just no food. In the 80s. Kind of.

Feed the world!
(x4 or so tho it seems like they say it a million times)

Just a terrible chorus. Is this a chorus? Oh, man. Try harder! Make it better! Make it better!

Let them know it's Christmastime again.

Yeah that didn't help. If anything, made it worse.** I was hoping that my rice time anomaly would fix this. Guess not. And now I'm hungry for broccoli au gratin rice and the pantry is empty. Good news tho, you can send Rice-a-Roni back in time with impunity.*** I hope the dinosaurs like Rice-a-Roni, because I'm breaking down "Walk the Dinosaur" next.

*Truly, all musicians are in the same gang.

**Like this article, the song starts off strong, then kind of goes down the ol' Xmas shitter. 

***Yes, I have a time travel machine but the only thing it can do is send rice, particularly Rice-a-Roni, back to the past. Something to do with string theory, and having to brown the rice/pasta mixture before you add the water. Science is so weird. Weird and amazing, a total San Francisco treat!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Holiday Shopping Guide Part Two - Websites 'n' Junk

Before I spill all my shopping secrets*, let me just say that I keep typing "holiday" as "HOliday" because I guess I put the "HO" in "holiday."

So. Websites. I actually do a ton of shopping on websites. Why? Well, my kid is damn near 4 years old and I still don't have a babysitter for him, and he is basically the worst person to shop with. He thinks it's cute to run away and hide, he wants to buy everything at every store and every time I try on a pair of jeans he says they make my butt look too flat. Also, he's soooo cute that strangers just think it's adorable when he acts a fool, which does not help. He could be setting displays on fire and the salespeople will be all "Oh, no problem, he's fine!"

If he's awake he also messes up my website shopping because he wants to be computer commando at all times but luckily he does sleep now and then.

Now obviously I get a lot of stuff from places like or or but I trust y'all figured those out on your own.


Because I still dress like a five-year-old boy much of the time, I have a metric shitton of t-shirts. I am particularly fond of t-shirts with comic book and cartoon characters. I feel like if there's a cute Wonder Woman, Batgirl or Supergirl t-shirt out there that I don't have, I could possibly die. These are the stores I get comic book and other pop culture shirts from.

Junk Food
SuperHero Stuff
Stylin Online
Ultimate T-Shirts

Special sub-section - kids and baby tees and other clothes

LaLa Ling

Toys, Pop Culture Goods and Import Stuff (and also Sometimes Clothes)

I like buying gashapon and character plushes and the like as stocking stuffers. Who can't use a plush-dog-shaped-like-a-TV magnet? Also, vinyl toys, maquettes, action figures and import DVDs make great gifts. For me. And Jason. And my nephew, Quinn. And probably other people! Import toys come in all flavors, from the cute to the creepy. Surely there's a creepy person on your gift list!

Power Anime
Action Figure Xpress
Entertainment Earth
HobbyLink Japan


Shoes are rough. It's hard to buy them online and yet I do--but mostly at your or your when they have crazy koo-koo sales. Sometimes I buy Steve limited-edition Star Wars Adidas, or Logan hard-to-find skater shoes online, tho. Everyone knows Zappos (right?). I dunno, this list is shorty short.


Jewelry, Bags, Accessories, Miscellaneous, Clothes and Fashiony Fashions

I like wearing goofy/cool/ridick necklaces, and I assume I am not the only one. Also, I like having sweet bags with cute animals on them. These stores are kind of a grab bag--at some you'll find mainly clothes, at others jewelry and makeup and cute plush, and at others expensive housewares and watches. Possibly the giftiest of all the sets of websites. Maybe I shoulda put them first?

Fred Flare
Crowded Teeth
Sick For Cute
Spicy Brown

*All my shopping secrets = what I can remember right now and what searching my Gmail for "order" and "invoice" helped me remember.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

Eat up.We can always be thankful for pants with elastic waistbands.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Carry On, My Skyward Sword

The latest Zelda game, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword hit stores this past Sunday, so I'm posting this watercolor illustration I just finished last week as a birthday present for a friend.

"Treasure Everything"
Watercolor & Ink on archival paper
18" x 24"

I have nothing snarky to follow up with, mainly because I haven't gotten around to buying the game yet (I was in the green room of the 2011 American Music Awards on Sunday when the game came out! I should probably do a post about that! But I'm lazy with an exclamation point! "Lazy!" the musical!). Anyway, I'm sure I'll have a snarky comment to make once some nerd in a Best Buy outfit sells me the game. Until then, just enjoy the art minus the snark.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Holiday Shopping Guide Part One - LA Area Stores

Your faithful Hands in the Air staff--well, Jenni and Jason, anyway--love love love to shop. But also, we're good at buying stuff that is adorable. And on real people budgets! People are constantly complimenting our stuff, and asking where we got it. One woman at work even wants me to do her Christmas shopping. Which sounds kind of fun to me, actually.

But we can't do everyone's Christmas shopping. Not directly, anyway. So I decided we should just tell you a bunch of the places where we get stuff. We're not going to try to give you lists of expensive, extra-specific crap that we not-so-secretly want for ourselves (we're on to you, every other website and magazine), since that is usually not all that helpful, anyway. But we will tell you were cool and fun stuff is available, and let you browse for yourselves!

If you live in the LA Area then you can shop at these places. A lot of them do have websites you can shop at. In another post, I'll give you some of the websites I get stuff from!

Wacko/Soap Plant
4633 Hollywood Blvd
Los Angeles CA  90027

Such a good shopping spot, especially for gifts. They have tons of books and toys, bags, silly housewares and more. Plus, the La Luz De Jesus art gallery is right there, too, so you can get your culture on as you take shopping breaks.


7965 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90046
(They also have stores in Santa Monica and Milan, if you'd rather.)

I am Tokidoki crazy. The good stuff can kind of sell out quickly both online and in-store, so you gotta move fast if you see something you like. Yeah, so, it's a nice all-Tokidoki experience at this shop.

7972 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90046

So, right, this place has lotsa designer toys, no duh. Some clothes and shoes. It's not cheap, but you're not going to go cheap for the holidays, are you? ARE YOU?

Japan LA
7320 1/2 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90046

Trendy Japanese cutie stuff and Japanesque stuff, too. Lots of sweet t-shirts, toys and accessories. Always worth a stop when down Melrose way.

Munky King
7308 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90046-7513

Designer toys are the focus, here--and don't let that scare you, they aren't ALL $200 vinyl art pieces--but they also have clothes and jewelry. But yeah I've only ever purchased small toys here.

Tarina Tarantino
7957 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90046

Not every single store on this list is on Melrose. But, you know. A lot of them are. Oh, wow, Jenni, you mean people go to Melrose to shop? Get out of here. NO YOU GET OUT OF HERE. Where was I? Right. Tarina Tarantino. These are sparkly things for sparkly people. So cute.

Meltdown Comics
7522 West Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90046

See? This one is on Sunset. Anyway. As you're well aware, we share the tastes and likes of dorky people even though we are not ourselves dorks. At this fine establishment, you'll find mostly comics, books and toys. I have purchased many a gift here. Yes, for myself. Also others.

8910 Washington Blvd
Culver City, CA 90232

This is a cosplay cafe, art space and a great shop. Every aspect is super fun. I'll admit, we like a lot of the Japanese-style stuff but that is because it is fashion-forward and artistic, with a sense of humor, like us! LIKE US.  Anyhoo, the shop always has adorbs stuff and eating there is good, too. Great art shows. They also have parties all the time. At night, when I'm asleep, yo.

Happy Six
2115 Sawtelle Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90025-6200

There are a few brands I like to buy from over and over and over. Junk Food, Mighty Fine, Tokidoki and of course my beloved Sanrio. This shop is jam-pickety-packed with all that plus other good stuff like Harajuku Lovers, Disney Couture, Sugar and I can't remember what else. Tons of clothes but also accessories, shoes and kids clothes. KIDS CLOTHES.

Giant Robot
2015 Sawtelle Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90025-6229
2062 Sawtelle Blvd
Los Angeles CA 90025

At the Giant Robot stores you can get clothes, books, art, collectibles like blind box toys, vinyl art toys, DVDs, jewelry...just a lot of cool crap. A good place to buy presents for your hip and arty pals. Oh and their restaurant, GR/EATS, is also a delight. Sawtelle has a lot of other good places to shop. Try it sometime. A good time will be had.

Q Pop Shop
128 Astronaut E S Onizuka St
Los Angeles, CA 90012

Little Tokyo has a lot of good shoppin'. But this is one of the best, just for the sheer variety of stuff and the fact that you won't really find what they carry anywhere else. At least not at the other places I shop. I love their t-shirts and accessories. They also carry toys and art and what not. Be sure to stop at the Kinokuniya book store and the millions of adorable gift shops in the area.

Vault 28 and D Street
1565 Disneyland Drive
Anaheim, 92802

You don't necessarily even need to like Disney stuff to shop at these stores. Vault 28 carries more girly stuff, Disney-related and not, plus really cute purses, jewelry, and great clothes. They've recently also started carrying more guy clothes. D Street has more dudely stuff, including lots of comic booky and Star Warsy tees and sweatshirts, but also carries lady stuff (that is also comic booky/Star Warsy).

I probably forgot a few of our favorite places to shop, but this gives you a pretty good idea of where to shop for me--um--I mean where to shop to get nice gifts you can't get at Target.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Jenni, The eBaby

When parts of my life aren't the greatest, I often retreat into shopping. (And NSFW articles. Like this one.)

Lately, that shopping has been happening on eBay. If I had free time, I would totally hit garage sales and flea markets and estate sales and what not but I ain't got no free time. So it's eBay when I should be sleeping.

I've added to my mermaid collection for my bathroom, I bought a kinda bargain Super Queen I've been wanting forever, and I even got a few things for other people. Probably, I don't remember.

I tend to go off the rails and just start searching for anything and everything. When I come across something delightful, I'll post it here. I've got three favorites for you today.

Don't Die Baby

If you didn't have to check out books from the same Catholic school library I did, you probably have never heard of this. But if you did...let's just say you're warming up your PayPal account. This shit is parochial scholar crack in book form, just the type of aww damn storytelling you need to wash your brain of Bible stories and what not. Amen.

The Ladies of The Flintstones S&M Print

Eat shit, Lascaux Cave drawings--here is some real prehistoric art. It's the ladies of the Flintstones, plus Dino, having a gay old time. Modern stone age family, indeed.

Happy Fisherman Apron

There are several items with the heartwarming theme of a fisherman standing in deep water, getting a blowie from a fish. Obviously one of my favorite themes, ever, artistic or otherwise*. But this is the greatest of the happy fisherman items. The best part of this super amaze Mexican souvenir? Bonus foam penis (click thru to the auction, y'all). I kind of feel like there should be a fish potholder on the dick there but I'm only half-Mexican.

I want so much to believe that fishermen honestly would be happy with this type of arrangement. Like they're painting their penises to look like worms so maybe they'll score a fellate o'fish.

But then, they ultimately catch the fish, I'm guessing, because of what they've put into it. It's probs delish--sort of like when you marinate meat with a syringe except that syringe is your wee-wee. And you don't want to bang a mermaid like 18 years later and then she turns to you and says "OH MY GOD, DAD?" And then you've got to catch her and eat her, too. I think I just wrote a Korean movie.**

Oh, eBay. You're the greatest.

*Can someone write like an Opera or something about fishermen getting blow jobs from fish? Maybe in German. I would also accept a sand painting in a big o'l mayonnaise jar.

**Fish are just like basketball groupies, they will spit out your ejaculate and try to impregnate themselves so they can catch them a fisherman. Also, Korean movies are just fucked up.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

The Lady and Her Tramps

Jason and I went to see Lady Gaga on Jimmy Kimmel the other night. Jason heard about the performance, sent an email, we ended up in the front row. That's just how we livin'. You know.

But! I guess people could, like, get in if they waited for a really long time, like camped out or whatever.

Unsurprisingly, the people who have the time, energy and motivation to do that are, for the most part, young. Now Jason and I are extra super young ourselves, so usually, we're cool with the youngins. They're cool with us. It's hard to tell us apart! (We look younger than the teens, that's how you can tell who's who.)

Oy these kids. Lady Gaga is known for really loving and appreciating her fans, but I basically hate a good majority of them (I have history hating the fans of bands I love.) Now that I've revealed I'm a hateful person, let me also be a hateful writer by concluding this piece with a probably disjointed list of those gaga for Gaga last night:

They are freaky short. Why are there so many rotund, but otherwise puny young adults out there? Mainly girls. I'm guessing poor nutrition, because it's obvious they eat. They must not eat well. At any rate, I have never felt taller, thinner or prettier.

They have horrible manners. The tubby tots who ended up next to/behind me harassed and physically assaulted the tall adult dude and his lady in front of them until they gave up and I think left entirely. The shorter one, and truly, the most amazingly short 15-year-old I've ever seen, apparently kicked the tall dude in the back of his legs until finally his knees buckled and he turned to them and said "I give up." Classy.

They've obviously not been to many shows. The human Weebles on both sides tried dance-bouncing into me to displace me. Standing with my elbows out made quick work of that. During the long wait for Gaga to show, they also screamed with every test of the lights or roadie movement. Embarrassing.

They believe in magic. The teeny tubbo next to me was sure Lady Gaga "Looked her right in the eyes" and "Can totally hear me!" She thought Gaga could hear her from her dressing room or wherever she was.

They have no fashion sense, you guys. Oh the outfits I saw. Oh the hair. Oh the makeup. You'd just think people who liked Gaga would like style or at least spectacle. Nope. They like the bargain racks and sleeping in way late.

Man I really am hateful. I don't hate fatties. Just short fatties. Kidding! Just poor short young fatties. Who scream in my ear. And sing along poorly to Lady Gaga. And yell "Show us your ass!" at Lady Gaga. And talk nonstop about how they can't breathe, except for when they're screaming "Show us your ass!"

This post was really just an excuse for Jason to post his pics. All my hate is just a bonus.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Comic-Con 2011 - Saturday: The Dorkly Hallows

Saturday at Comic-Con is the biggest day of the show, and here's the photo roundup including Domo creator Tsuneo Goda and highlights from the 2011 Masquerade. If you like half-naked women with the clothed half being some sorta geeky superhero outfit, check out the pics after the jump.


Comic-Con 2011 - Friday: Geekocalypse

Here's the Friday roundup of Comic-Con activity including South Park, Kevin Smith, Nintendo, Real Steel and more!


Monday, July 25, 2011

Comic-Con 2011 - Thursday, Part 2: Breaking Dawn

Stupid hotel internet went offline so the complete Thursday report never posted. Anyway, you can see the rest of what went down at Comic-Con on Thursday, July 21 (Elijah Wood, slave Leias, Phineas & Ferb, Designer Toy Awards and more) after the jump.

Read more»

Friday, July 22, 2011

Comic-Con 2011 - Thursday: Nerdageddon

I survived Thursday of Comic-Con 2011, so here's my photo roundup of the highlights including Monster High, Adventure Time, Transformers, The Playboy Club, cosplayers and more. 
Read more after the jump» 

Friday, July 15, 2011


So Carmageddon is upon us here in L.A. For those of you who don't live in SoCal, Carmageddon is the carpocalyptic traffic jam the Mayans predicted would happen when a stretch of Interstate 405 closes this weekend for construction. And we all know Mayan prophecies always come true -- they've already correctly predicted that a movie called 2012 would come out.

Carmageddon is coming, or as I like to call it, "Vroomsday 2011: The Carbinger of Death."
Steve has dubbed it "The Autocaust," while Jenni calls it "Hurricane Kartrina" for the win!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

R.I.P. Sherwood Schwartz

Sherwood Schwartz
November 14, 1916 - July 12, 2011
Creator of The Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island

Cousin Oliver is locked in the basement.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Comic-Con 2011 Exclusives - Our Faves

Comic-Con 2011 is two weeks away, so we're sending Jason on his annual trip to San Diego to report on the convention, panels, premieres, masquerade and after-parties. When he's done canoodling with girls dressed like the cast of Sucker Punch, he'll be stocking up on the exclusive toys, giveaways, art prints and comics to ensure that Hands in the Air headquarters looks like it was decorated by 12-year-old Star Wars nerds.

So what should convention geeks spend their money on besides deodorant, food not found in a 7-Eleven and etiquette lessons? Don't get your metal bikini bottoms in a bunch -- our picks for Comic-Con International 2011 exclusives are listed after the jump.


Tuesday, June 07, 2011


Since I haven't been tweeting for a while, it's probably been tough for you to stalk me, so I figured I'd give you all a heads-up on the next place you can find and harass me. This Saturday, June 11, 2011, I'll be featured in the Nozomi - Hope for Japan Artshow, a charity auction with all proceeds going to Global Giving's Japan Earthquake and Tsunami Relief Fund.

Here's the painting I made for the show, and you can bid on it this Saturday from 3 - 8pm in Long Beach, California:
"The Sun Always Shines" (12"x24", acrylic on canvas)
Dedicated to my father (Jan 11, 1940 - May 16, 2011)

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Lame of Moans

Game of Thrones. We were going to jump all over that and do what I charmingly referred to as a "Threeview," where each of us would give our opinions of the show.

It was an admirable idea, given the three interesting viewpoints we would have brought to it: Steve is basically the target audience for this show (if he had any damn money, anyway--they always want audiences with money, baby) and he's also super into the books; Jason hates at least half of what HBO puts on just as a natural instinct, but he likes period pieces with tittays; and I fucking super fucking extremely hate medieval shit, and epic shit, and shit you have to pay close attention to, and...yeah. Everything I expected this show to be.

I have to say, my expectations, dead on. Except for my expectations of myself, being able to watch this shit week after week.

I couldn't make it through ONE EPISODE. One.

Now you're probably thinking I'm some type of idiot asshole dipshit. Okay. If you like it, that's great. You're obviously more like Steve (sane, rational, nice, not terribly perverted, etc.) than you are like me (kooks, bitchy, impatient, totes pervy). I also find the Lord of the Rings movies to be interminable. Dull and uninteresting. Clearly I have shit taste when it comes to quality drama featuring people who look like they never bathe.

But if you're watching this and putting yourself through it just because everyone says it's really good but you actually think it's kind of boring unless someone is boning or the little fellow is being funny or boning someone or monsters are beheading someone or boning someone, then, uh, yay for you? Me, I can't do it. I can't. (And yes, I do believe people do that. They watch shit because they've been told it's good and they should like it. I think many people who watch Mad Men do so for exactly that reason. No, I don't like that show, either. Sorry! I like it better than Game of Thrones tho, for really real. I don't like Breaking Bad, either. I'm guessing I might like that one if I gave it more of a chance. But you know, life is short. I gave it the one chance, it didn't take, too bad, so sad. Maybe I'll watch it when I'm 80 and I can't relate to the all-reality shows of TV Future.)

Game of Thrones is obviously set up to reward active and careful viewing. Incite rewatches upon later revelations/reward rewatchers with further revelation. Thoughtful, deliberate audience-ing. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck that, y'all. You can stuff that right up your throne-hole. Steve totally understands all the subtle-ass shit that's going on, because he's read the books. But people like me, they have to wait as layer upon layer is added, and the richness of the many plotlines and character arcs is revealed. UH-UH. NOT FOR ME. Give me a little up front. Just a little! A bit more. I can't work up interest in all these horribly bewigged, mostly ugly motherfuckers. I don't fucking care.

That one little girl is pretty cool--the one with the good aim? Yeah. And incest, as they (sorta) say, is the best. I could totally tell that brother and sister were bad/doin' it before it was revealed. This show has a little person, nudity and incest and I STILL don't like it. You have to go pretty far down the boring trail (and the I can't understand what the fuck the actors are saying because of naturalism/bad accents/mumbling or some shit trail) to lose me when brother-sister boinking, dwarfs and general nakedness is in the mix.

And they're two of the only hot people in that fucker! That is an issue. I like good-lookin' peeps. This show is good-lookin' light. That bears repeating. I don't care if a bunch of hideous people are beheaded. To me that seems natural and anti-climatic. Of course ugly people should lose their heads. Heads are what make so many ugly people so very ugly.

I probably shouldn't be saying these things. I want to be a TV writer. And here I am, saying I'm essentially a lazy TV-watcher who can't be arsed to pay attention, remember shit and/or possibly think while watching a show full of uggos. I AM an idiot asshole dipshit, most likely. But uh, yeah. Don't like this show.

I do really like the opening credits, tho. Super cute. If the show were more like the cute opening credits, I'd dig it the most.

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Podcasting Call

We're finally returning to the studio to record new episodes of the Hands in the Air Podcast! Sure, it's been five years since our last podcast, but we're sorta like HBO because we take so long between seasons and we play the crap out of Pootie Tang.

Wanna be a guest host in one of our Season 2 podcasts? Listen to our podcasts (#007 is our fave), and if you think you can hold your own with us, post a comment and let us know. You could be in our next podcast!

Saturday, April 09, 2011

The Best of Both Worlds

Hanna is now in theaters. 

Arthur is now in theaters.

Wednesday, April 06, 2011


Today, we saw a food truck named after Metallica's Kill 'Em All album, but since the eatery on wheels specialized in serving up burgers, it was called "Grill 'Em All." In honor of the heavy metal-inspired burgermobile, we've come up with some other Metallica-themed food trucks:

Call us, Lars, and we can go into the food truck biz with you. Otherwise, we'll sell these ideas to Napster.

Hands in the Air

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

WonderCon: The Geeks of San Francisco

This past April Fool's Day, I pulled off the ultimate prank of tricking people into thinking I was a nerd by attending my first-ever WonderCon during a weekend in San Francisco. WonderCon is sorta like a Comic-Con lite, but this year's convention went big with some appearances by stars like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively (Green Lantern) and Oscar nominee Saoirse Ronan (Hanna).

Anyway, the joke was on the WonderConventioneers when they realized I pulled the April Fool's wool over their eyes and turned out to be a totally supercool dude merely pretending to be geek. Suckers! It was cosplay, whatever that means! You should've seen the looks on their Batfaces!!! It was like Issue 104 of the DC Comics classic Silver Age... I mean, wait, what?

Um, just check out my show coverage after the jump»

Thursday, March 17, 2011

We Heart Japan

Happy St. Patrick's Day! If you're in L.A. today, celebrate until you're green in the face at We Heart Japan's charity auction at Meltdown Comics on Sunset. There will be food trucks, free drinks, raffles and appearances by anime voice actors. Plus, you can bid in the silent auction for art, including three paintings by me! All proceeds go to the Japan NGO Earthquake Relief and Recovery Fund.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Fill in the Groove

This past Saturday, I attended the opening reception for the "Fill in the Groove" 3rd Annual Vinyl Art Show in Tempe, Arizona, where artists were invited to create their work on vinyl records. Two of my paintings were on display (they'll be there through April 15), so I went on a road trip to see them.

"Pac-Man Fever"

Painting on vinyl was difficult and driving 400 miles from L.A. to Arizona was tough, too, but the hardest part for me, actually, was finding records I was OK with defacing. I'm such a music nerd that I spent an hour at Amoeba Records' bargain bin trying to find suitable vinyl victims. (Jenni got mad that I used a Justin Timberlake 12" single as a test painting and another friend asked if I had painted the sushi on The Vapors' "Turning Japanese." I wish I was that clever. And to think I thought I was smart for rendering an Aqua record unplayable.)

There are lots of great pieces from around the world on display at the show (I bought this great record art from UK artist, Popcorny), so it's worth a look. You have until April 15 to get your groove on.

Painting of the Month

As part of my New Year's resolutions, I resolved to create a painting every month. I also resolved to avoid going to jail and to not appear in a leaked sex tape. Two out of three ain't bad.

Here are the January and February entries for my Painting of the Month:

January 2011

February 2011

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Five Years of Hands in the Air: The Cover Gallery

This February marks the fifth anniversary of Hands in the Air! To celebrate the event, we're posting a gallery of our blog header images from our past five years on Blogger, plus some earlier, rarer archival images.

Yay! We're five years old and finally out of Huggies Pull-Ups (except for Jason, depending on his weekend clients).

Click each pic to see the full-size version.

2011 - The Human Centipede

Don't ask why Jason's in the middle.

February 2011 - Valentine's Day

December 2010 - Christmas

October 2010 - Halloween


August 2010 - Scott Pilgrim vs. the Universe
This is Jason's all-time favorite cover image.

May 2010 - Iron Man 2
Steve is Iron Man, Jenni is Black Widow and Jason is War Machine.

April 2010 - Now in 3-D!
 June 2009 - Now in Digital!

 January 2009 - Shephard Fairey "Hope" Tribute

 December 2008 - New Year's 2009

 November 2008 - Election Day

 November 2008 - Autumn 

October 2008 - Halloween

May 2008 - Iron Man

 April 2008 - Easter

March 2008 - St. Patrick's Day
Lucky Charms! Because drowning us in a Shamrock Shake just looked gross.

July 2007 - Transformers
That's right, there used to be a black guy on this blog. That's Chris.

June 2007 - The Fantastic Four


Jenni as a Nagel painting, Steve as Marty McFly and Jason as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

Jason's a rocking a sweet '70s porn 'stache.


We had the snarkiest illuminated manuscripts back in the 14th century.