Gymkata, Gotta Gotta

If you like your martial arts action movies to have a little flair (and by "flair" I don’t mean Steven Seagal in a silky kimono -- I mean more like a karate master busting out a Crouching Tiger, Hidden Cartwheel followed by a sassy dismount), then you’ll be happy to hear that Gymkata is finally being released on DVD.

You insult my honor. Let's settle this on the parallel bars.

Answering the age-old questions of "What if ninjas weren’t really all that cool?" and "What if Mary Lou Retton could kick my ass?" Gymkata serves up an action movie with the chocolate-in-my-peanut-butter concept of martial arts meets gymnastics. And it’s all made to sound really, really authentic by adding "-kata" to its name.

The movie originally came out in 1985 and is finally seeing the light of day on DVD thanks to internet voting in Amazon.com’s DVD Decision 2006. The road to Netflix queuedom started with 30 obscure Warner Bros. movies, but only 10 of them could be voted into DVD circulation. Think of it as the Thunderdome for DVDs, where 30 movies enter but only 10 movies leave, and along the way there are some really fabulous somersault dismounts and balance beam work.

Amazon.com has just announced which 10 winning movies have been made available for pre-order (though it seems they've upped the total to 12 titles), and Gymkata made the cut, earning a January 2007 release. Back in June, I made a blog posting urging people to vote for the movie, and maybe it worked. Whether or not it sells big when it’s released in January is another story, but if it tanks, it’d be proof yet again that internet buzz is too often overblown Snakes on a Plane-style. And that could be embarrassingly painful... like a throwing star tossed by a ninja in a leotard.

DVD Decision 2006: Gymkata!

It’s time to make a difference, movie fans! Sometimes there seems to be no rhyme or reason behind what makes its way on to DVD. There’s a Charles in Charge box set, but still no Star Wars Holiday Special on DVD?!? Bah humbug, Scott Baio and your Jedi mind tricks! Thankfully, Warner Home Video with the help of Amazon.com is giving us the chance to vote some overlooked films back into circulation.

DVD Decision 2006 dusts off 30 films from the Warner archives for you to vote on, and the top 10 picks will be released on DVD. Most of the candidates are relatively early and obscure works by people who’d go on to better things. But forget the vintage Jodie Foster, Michael Crichton and Oliver Stone fluff – one movie clearly shines above the rest: Gymkata.

That middle judge is a dead man.

Somehow, the ‘80s action movie that mixed gymnastics with martial arts ass-kickery made the cut. Now, we at Hands in the Air don’t want to step on your democratic toes by blatantly endorsing Gymkata, but if you don’t vote for it, we’ll have to mess you up with a crouching handspring while simultaneously dazzling you with our streamer ribbons and floor exercises. Seriously, don’t make us get all Mary Lou Retton on your ass. Besides, if the Gymkata DVD release does well, it could spawn sequels featuring other martial arts hybrids, like Yogakata, Lambada-Kata and Synchronized Swimkata.

So please vote for what will be the most awesome DVD release ever. You can cast your votes for Gymkata here.

Gymkata could save your life. You never know when you could run into ninjas while on the parallel bars.