2006 in Review, Part 1

There's less than a week left in 2006, so it's time to take a look back at the past 360-odd days. Here are some of my random picks for the highlights and lowlights of '06:

Disturbing Trend of the Year:
Authors without Shame

• Bestselling author James Frey admits to Oprah that he fabricated his memoir, A Million Little Pieces
  
  
• How Harvard student Kaavya Viswanathan plagiarized a novel, lost a movie deal and got caught
  
  
• Jason, Jenni, Steve and Chris begin writing this blog and launch a companion podcast

Even Father Time wastes half a checkbook making that stupid mistake.

Silliest New Words of the Year:

• "Firecrotch"
• "SexyBack"
• "Suri Cruise"
  

Best New Phrases of the Year:

• "Sugartits" - Mel Gibson
• "Ching-chong, ching-chong, Danny deVito, ching-chong, ching-chong, The View" - Rosie O'Donnell.
  
  As a real-life Ching-Chongese-American, I think Rosie's interpretation of the language is almost as good as my fat lesbian imitation: "Lilith Fair, Lilith Fair, porkchops, Indigo Girls, Indigo Girls, all-you-can-eat buffet."

Worst New Phrases of the Year:

• "Lock the Cashbox/Stop the Catbox"
  This is from that dumb phone ad where two guys are singing the wrong lyrics to The Clash's "Rock the Casbah." Somehow they managed to download the song by name, but they still couldn't make the connection that the title lyric was being sung in the chorus. That's just lazy joke writing, Madison Avenue.
  
  
• "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World"
  NBC's motto for Heroes didn't quite turn out to be the t-shirt/bumper sticker slogan it was hyped to be. No matter how many times the phrase was ominously whispered at the end of the show with eerie reverb effects, it still sounded superstupid rather than superheroic.

Annoying Trend of the Year:
Random people making awful Borat impressions
The real Borat is funny, but why do unfunny people insist on imitating him? Very niiice? No, not at all.

Baffling Movie Phenomenon of the Year:
High School Musical
I have no idea why a story about singing co-eds became one of the biggest TV movies and DVDs of the year

Movie Phenomenon of the Year That Wasn't:
Snakes on a Plane
The movie delivered everything it promised! What more do you want, America? Singing snakes in varsity jackets?

Best Song of the Year:
"Phantom Limb" - The Shins
The full album, Wincing the Night Away, doesn't come out until January 23, 2007, but the lead single is already my favorite song of this year

15 Favorite Albums of the Year:

1. The Life Pursuit - Belle & Sebastian
2. Hearts and Unicorns - Giant Drag
3. Everything All the Time - Band of Horses
4. The Crane Wife - The Decemberists
5. Mr. Beast - Mogwai
6. Cansei de Ser Sexy - CSS
7. Carnavas - Silversun Pickups
8. You in Reverse - Built to Spill
9. The Electricity in Your House Wants to Sing - i am robot and proud
10. Show Your Bones - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
11. Duper Sessions - Sondre Lerche and the Faces Down Quartet
12. I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass - Yo La Tengo
13. Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not - Arctic Monkeys
14. The Audience's Listening - Cut Chemist
15. The Eraser - Thom Yorke

Some Notable Deaths in 2006:
James Brown, Gerald Ford, Steve Irwin, Joseph Barbera, Coretta Scott King, Aaron Spelling, Don Knotts, Lou Rawls, Chris Penn, Robert Altman, Peter Boyle, Mickey Spillane, Desmond Dekker, Shelley Winters, Dennis Weaver, Peter Benchley, Darren McGavin, Jack Palance, Oleg Cassini, Buck Owens, Billy Preston, Wilson Pickett, Eddie the dog from TV's Frasier, Maureen Stapleton, H.R. Pufnstuf kid Jack Wild, Gerald Levert, Mike Douglas, Tamara Dobson (Cleopatra Jones), Syd Barrett, The Breakfast Club principal Paul Gleason, Ed Bradley, Chef on South Park, UPN, The WB

Britney Spears' To-Do List 2007:
Learn how to be a good mom
Learn how to pick a good husband
Learn how to wear panties in public

______

Snakes in a Hissyfit

Boo! Hiss! America, you've let me down. After all the nationwide rallying behind Snakes on a Plane, New Line Cinema finally delivered the exact reptilian kick-assery you asked for, but most of the country didn't even bother to show up to see it on opening weekend. The movie's internet fanbase would lead you to believe that the film would premiere at more than a disappointing $15.2 million, but it's like someone switched the marquee to say Pulse or Step Up or "also starring Rob Schneider."

The snakes on a plane find out the in-flight movie is "You, Me and Dupree"

So maybe snakes aren't the creepiest thing to ride in a plane now that John Mark Karr has flown stateside, but the movie is still hands down the most exhilarating flick of the summer. The film's true genius, however, lies in its ability to reveal how overrated the power of the internet really is. Surprise -- MySpace friends don't translate into actual people who'd really like you in person, home movies still suck when they're on YouTube and web darling Dane Cook is even more unfunny in real life.

But strangely the internet hype was right about Snakes on a Plane -- it's one of the best movies of the year, and here's why:

1. Snakes bite people everywhere you want to see a snake bite someone (Yes, there. And there.)
2. Snakes pop out of everywhere on a plane that you'd want a snake to pop out of
3. Samuel L. Jackson does his trademark badass speech and isn't promptly eaten by a shark
4. Samuel L. Jackson doesn't play a Jedi
5. It's a movie about herpetology, and that just sounds funny
6. It makes for fun theater pranks like this
   

The only shortcoming for Snakes on a Plane was that there was a kickboxer on board who didn't actually get to kick any snakes, and there was a GINORMOUS snake on board that didn't get enough screen time to get kicked. Oh, and you couldn't even be bothered to see it yet. To paraphrase Sam Jackson, get your motherfucking asses in the motherfucking theater.

Podcast Episode #007: Scotch and Pee in My Coke

Podcast #007 is ready to offend your ears! This episode features Jenni's sister Deitri, our first-ever guest who dialed in from Cleveland, Ohio to make the podcast a three-state affair (Jenni, Jason and Steve are in Los Angeles and Chris is in New York for those who didn't know). Maybe you could be our next guest, so e-mail your pleas and bribes to handsintheairmail@gmail.com.

Clockwise from left: Steve, Jenni, Chris and Jason. Not pictured: Deitri (or, she could be represented by the house plant)

Highlights of the episode include a story about Scotland, more original Snakes on a Plane songs and a dance song featuring the quotes of Chris.

Vote for our podcast! Show your support and vote for our podcast at Podcast Alley.

Podcast Episode #005: Snakes on a Plane

We just gave birth to our fifth podcast, and we've named it Suri! This very special episode features us performing a live song we wrote on the fly for the upcoming film, Snakes on a Plane. There are also lots of twisted topics of conversation and a bonus song secretly recorded by Jason at the end of the show.

Check it out and search for Episode #005 at the iTunes Music Store or other podcast places to subscribe now!

From left to right: Steve, Chris, Jenni and Jason
Not pictured: Rhythm, Musical Talent

Episode 005: April 2006 - The gang writes a song for the upcoming Samuel L. Jackson film, "Snakes on a Plane." Hear the tune while the patented "Fun Week" begins and we learn of a unicorn named Chauncey O'Horn. What?!

Snakes on a Plane in a Blog

This summer, Samuel L. Jackson will be reprising his patented bad-ass character to star in the appropriately named action flick, Snakes on a Plane. Maybe the studios thought that calling it "Snakes on a Plane with Samuel L. Jackson" would be a bit too cryptic.

Caption for picture of Snakes on a Plane in a blog

At any rate, Snakes on a Plane is destined to be the snake movie to end all snake movies, so much so that Anaconda will merely be remembered as only "Snakes in the Jungle." Now, who'd want to see something with a silly title like that? Especially when Snakes on a Plane will be the movie that will feature an original soundtrack song penned by a lucky contest winner!

TagWorld and New Line are promoting a songwriting contest, and the winning reptilian rave-up will be featured in the movie. But don't be thinking that you have a chance at winning the coveted spot on the Snakes on a Plane CD -- we've already come up with some song names for the contest. Sure, we haven't come up with the pesky Music for the Songs bit, but that part should be pretty easy considering the pure genius of the song titles listed below.

Snake Song on a Soundtrack
Shed Your Skin in My Mile-High Club
Why Is My Carry-On Rattling?
Ready to Strike (Once the Captain Has Turned Off the Fasten Seatbelts Light)
Suck the Venom Outta Me
Feeling Constricted in Coach
Slip That Anaconda in My Cockpit
Shake Your Asp in First Class
Another Reason Not to Fly Southwest
Carry-On, My Wayward Snake
Peanut Allergy (The Cobra Song)

Special thanks to Deitri for tipping us off on this snake-tastic contest!