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Monday, August 31, 2009

Disney Marvel Team-Up

This morning Disney announced that it's acquiring Marvel Entertainment along with the 5,000-plus characters from its superhero universe. The implications are of hulking proportions. First, it means that Disney's Jonas Brothers will be getting some serious competition for who wears the tightest pants at the Mouse. It also means that there could be some crossovers like Howard the DuckTales, That's So Kraven or sorcerer supreme Dr. Strange visiting Waverly Place. Even Pixar could end up making a Fantastic Four movie called The Incredibles.

Here are some other ideas that could come out of the Disney-Marvel team-up:

Belle meets The Beast. Oh my stars and garters!

Namor the Sub-Mariner was also up for the lead role in The Little Merman.

I'm not sure which is worse -- this joke or my lazy Photoshop job.

"Real considerate, students. I'm in a wheelchair and can't jump.
'We're all in this together,' my ass."

Toad from the X-Men comics would've worked, too,
but his tongue-based "rides" aren't really very Disney.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Dr. Seuss Art Show

Here is a preview of my two paintings for a Dr. Seuss-themed group art show that's opening at L.A.'s Monkeyhouse Toys this Saturday, August 29th.

"LOLcat in the Hat"

"Hang in There"
Watercolor and graphite

I know you're all planning to spend this weekend in the theaters watching The Final Destination 3-D ("Death saved the best for 3-D!") and Halloween II: Not in 3-D ("Rob Zombie saved the best for 2-D!"), but why not cleanse the palate by taking in some art and seeing my paintings this Saturday ("Jason saved the best for you! In 3-D! And in 2-D if you close one eye!")?

Here's the flyer with all the info and stuff:

I'll be attending the opening reception, so if I owe you money or if I might be your baby's daddy or if you need to serve me a summons, you'll know where to find me.

Oh, the Art You Will See!
Saturday, August 29th
4pm - 8pm

Monkeyhouse Toys & Art Gallery
1618 1/2 Silver Lake Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90026

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

R.I.P. John Hughes

This memorial post for John Hughes is way overdue, but I've been too preoccupied watching his Curly Sue to photograph my tribute to him. OK, so I haven't learned how to make up clever excuses like Ferris Bueller, but John Hughes has at least taught anyone who's been a teen that they're not alone, and, if they are, maybe they might be able to create Kelly LeBrock.

Anyway, here's my tribute to two of my favorite John Hughes movies.

John Hughes
Writer, director, creator of the Brat Pack
February 18, 1950 - August 6, 2009
Don't you forget about him.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Duck, Duck, Loose

Mmm-hmm. Girl, that's why your momma told you not to date a sailor.

Saturday, August 01, 2009


Oh, shit. My parade, she done been pissed on.

I guess the potty...I mean the party's over at this restroom I frequent. They are so on to me. When I'm feeling down, mischievous or just bored, I head over to the bathroom for some inconsiderate playtime.

Sometimes, I flush all half-asseded. Especially if I've left a little present in there for the next guest.

Other times, I'll pull, like, 25 seat covers and do some serious origami shit to them, like we're talking entire cherry blossom forests up in that toilet. And them paper cranes--fuck do I love them paper cranes. I'm sorry but you walk in on a little origami menagerie floatin' 'round the toi toi and you're not enchanted!?!?!? I am, and I don't mind having to flush 10 or 12 times to clear the toilet out. Tho it's fun to pee on 'em, too. Just saying.

Now and then, I'll unwind all the toilet paper from the roll, loosely roll it back, put about three feet of the end into the toilet (without tearing it from the roll) and then flush properly (for once, and with all my might). Talk about your stuffed toilet! It's like when they throw streamers off a boat but sooo much better.

Fuck. What am I going to do now that the jig is up? And how did they catch on to me? I only go like two, maybe three times an hour.

I guess I shouldn't crank up the tunes and slamdance in the stall when I do it. But it's too considerate, I feel, if you do your minor potty violations sans musical accompaniment.

Ah, well. It was fun while it lasted.