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Sunday, July 08, 2007

Mmmm... D'oh Nut!

Since I don't have a Camaro that I could use to hang out in parking lots while blasting Dio from the car stereo, I don't usually find myself at 7-11. In any case, while humming "Holy Diver," I decided to visit the Burbank, California location after it became one of the few to be remade into a Kwik-E-Mart to promote The Simpsons Movie.
There's actually an employee working the front door and handling crowd control to make sure that only a handful of customers can be inside at one time, because you don't want too many people running off with those $8 cartons of milk and overpriced Twinkies. Anyway, when I got in, they were already sold out of almost all of the exclusive Simpsons merchandise.

I did manage to get a Squishee (which tasted suspiciously like a Slurpee) and I also made off with one of those pink, sprinkly donuts that Homer loves so much. The Squishee didn't survive the hot, summer ride home, but the donut made it all right, so I had the Hands in the Air gang give it a taste test.

"Pink." "Creamy." "With a hole."
The Simpsons donut comes loaded with sugar and innuendo.

Very pretty bright-ass deep pink color. Nice lookin' purple and blue sprinkles. The donut is glazed and also frosted. It's a bit much. Very sugary, tho the donut itself is moist and tasty. And I never like eating sprinkles because all I taste is the horrible, chemically, bitter flavor of the food coloring with a touch of sugar paste. Ick. So nasty. Pretty, tho. And the effect wouldn't be the same without them. I'd rather look at than eat. I feel that way about a lot of things.

It doesn't taste as scary as it looks. You know what flavor pink is? Diabetes. This donut is a big pile of sugar with a hole in it. Maybe all that sugar will make you all yellow and jaundiced like the actual Simpsons. Well, it still tastes good and looks just like the cartoon version.

Mmmmm... donut. The frosting is pink, which reminds me of the episode where Homer is committed for wearing a pink shirt to work, (thanks to Bart washing his lucky red cap with the whites). It's sweet like later in that same episode when Bart teams up with a guy who thinks he's Michael Jackson (remember when he was cool? The Simpsons does!) to sing a birthday song to Lisa. The whole breakfast confection is tempting like that episode where Homer was tempted to cheat on Marge with a hot co-worker voiced by Michelle Pfeiffer. Of course he didn't, which went against the strict instructions of a fortune cookie. I'm still awaiting the fallout of that in a future episode. Anyway, as Kwik-E Mart donuts go, not bad.


silver said...

I went to the one on Venice twice, and scored a box of Krusty-O's on trip #2. It's a pretty funny box, with lines like "Krusty's Nutrition Guarantee: I guarantee I was paid to say this stuff was nutritious!" and pictures of worms and bolts in the cereal.

But inside, it's fruit loops.

cat said...

those donuts were pretty gross, i could only stomach one bite before going into sugar shock.