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Thursday, October 05, 2006

Garbage Disposal on NBC’s “Heroes” Tricked into Supervillainy by Lex Luthor

If you’ve been watching NBC’s new series Heroes, you’ve probably been wondering who the big supervillain will be for the show’s ad-hoc league of superheroes. After two episodes, the big baddie has finally been revealed, and it’s not some evil uber-genius. It’s a garbage disposal.

Appliance company Emerson, the maker of the incredible InSinkErator (how’s that for a supername?), is suing NBC for last Monday’s episode, which depicted the indestructible cheerleader mangling her hand in the company’s garbage disposal.
Note to NBC: Garbage disposals are our friends

According to Emerson's lawsuit, the Heroes scene depicted the InSinkErator in a negative light because most disposals grind up celery and leftovers in the name of justice, although the ill-conceived Bizarro line of InSinkErators are a totally separate issue.

The lawsuit further argues that Heroes is suggesting that a disposal could "cause debilitating and severe injuries, including the loss of fingers, in the event consumers were to accidentally insert their hand into one." It’s so true it’s absurd! If the Heroes episode isn’t changed, Emerson will eventually have to sue NBC because "people can’t really fly," "dudes can’t bend time" and "Ali Larter really isn’t famous for anything."

Note to superheroes: Garbage disposals are your enemies

In other news, Justin Timberlake and his former bandmates are suing Emerson for appropriating the name of their patented *NSyncErator, a device that momentarily made Lance Bass straight during their recording career.

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