The Sexiest Blog Alive

Pop Culture | Movies | Celebs | TV | Video Games | Comics | Toys | Gossip | Snark

Visit the new Tumblr blog at

Saturday, May 03, 2008

A Fascinating Slice of Tissue History

When we moved into our new crib in Burbank, our landlords already had some things in place, like curtains, toilet paper, a very odd painting in the half-bath/closet (yeah, we have a half-bath/closet) and this box of Kleenex, which was in the full bath that is not a closet, but does share a wall with the half-bath/closet.

I kind of casually glanced at it, and thought "Do they still use that pattern for their boxes?" but didn't really think that much of it until I went to move it, and realized I had a relic on my hands. This thing is, uh, older than all of us! Well, it could be--which means it's plenty older than Steve (who must be a teenager because I don't look a day over twenty-six).

How does a box of tissue stay in someone's possession for over 30 years? I'm afraid to use one of the tissues but they look okay. It's possible they'll crumble to dust if one is used but Jason's pretty sure my mom used one when she came to visit (I'd put it in the storage/laundry room for safekeeping, and yes, half of the rooms in our joint have at least two names--have I mentioned the photo/darkroom/ministorage area?) but we don't know for sure.

Tissues used to be cheap, y'all. I price-checked Kleenex, they're $2.50-$3.50 for a 200-count box on

And how 'bout this Bonsai offer? It's how I know approximately how old these tissues are, the date on which the offer expires.

Surely there are Kleenex collectors on Ebay who would pay big for green tissues in a near-mint foil box. I think our fortunes are made.


Marti said...

Jason used it and said I did.

Deitri said...

Gas in Midtown?

Jason said...

Dude, it was totally opened like someone had used it in the laundry room/workshop/S&M dungeon. I swear I heard nose-blowing near the pool/backyard in front of my poolhouse/bachelor pad/bungalow. Also, Colonel Mustard did it in the Library/Conservatory with the candlestick.

Oh, and "Gas in Midtown" was a label Chris tagged an article with over a year ago as if that category would ever be used again. We're trying to be green and reuse.