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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Counting Hos

Woman- (and apparently everything else-) eater Adam Duritz has let another too-hot-for-his-dreadlocked-ass woman slip through his sausagelike fingers. Jenni and Jason, ever tasteful, discuss.

[15:24] Jenni: who will he bang next?!?!?  Adam Duritz and Emmy Rossum break up.
[15:24] Jason: hahahaa. that could be a good post
[15:25] Jason: i'll say someone from gossip girl
[15:25] Jenni: might be too old
[15:25] Jenni: oh yeah maybe the one
[15:26] Jenni: who is still underage
[15:26] Jenni: has a band
[15:26] Jason: totally
[15:26] Jenni: taylor momsen
[15:26] Jason: what do chicks like about him? the dreads?
[15:26] Jason: cuz he's just a fat guy
[15:26] Jenni: i have NO IDEA
[15:26] Jenni: it freaks me the fuck out
[15:27] Jason: must the singer/songwriter thing
[15:27] Jenni: but like, if i ever could have respected jennifer aniston or courteney cox, i can't now
[15:27] Jason: like, if john mayer looked like that, his life would still be the same
[15:27] Jenni: you know?
[15:27] Jenni: i dunno about that
[15:28] Jason: wait, she met him through twitter
[15:28] Jenni: mayer pulls in more tail per pound and square inch
[15:28] Jason: he must've sex-tweeted her
[15:28] Jenni: his looks help
[15:28] Jason: twit-twatted
[15:28] Jason: twittilated
[15:28] Jenni: gross
[15:29] Jason: @adamduritz: "It's a long December. You know what else is long, Emmy?"
[15:30] Jason: @adamduritz: "Forget Mr. Jones, meet Mr. Johnson"
[15:30] Jason: @adamduritz: "i'll bang you 8 ways to Sunday and August and everything after"
[15:31] Jason: @adamduritz: "i want you round here. [i'm pointing to my dreadlocked junk]"
[15:31] Jenni: hahahaha
[15:31] Jenni: someone is writing a blog post
[15:31] Jason: done
[15:31] Jason: cut & paste it

Monday, November 15, 2010

Cuntry Strong

[09:16] Jenni: good news, Gwyneth got a standing ovation from country folks

[09:18] Jason: my god, what can't she do?
[09:18] Jenni: EXAC
[09:18] Jason: she needs to duet with chris martin
[09:18] Jenni: oh shit yes she does
[09:19] Jason: i want to work for the Gwyneth Paltrow Network when it debuts on cable
[09:19] Jason: or GoopTV
[09:20] Jenni: amen to that brother
[09:20] Jason: i'm coining the phrase "goopies" for the fans who hang out at her concerts hoping to get backstage
[09:20] Jenni: i'm a goopie
[09:20] Jenni: i want to be covered in goop from head to toe
[09:21] Jenni: then give a standing o
[09:21] Jason: if you have an o while standing, doesn't the goop just spill out onto the floor?
[09:23] Jenni: yes so i guess i got it backward, i'll give goop a standing o but i'll be underneath and then i'll be covered in goop goop from head to toe
[09:23] Jenni: if i do it right
[09:23] Jason: a standing paltr-o
[09:25] Jason: copy & paste this. we have a new blog entry
[09:26] Jenni: sho nuff

Poorly Placed Price Tag #48

I think this might be the prequel to Iron Man.