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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

R.I.P. Mr. Wizard

Educational TV personality Mr. Wizard died Tuesday, sending shockwaves throughout the science community with the revelation that he was actually still alive as of a day ago.

Mr. Wizard
TV host/scientist/wizard
July 10, 1917 - June 12, 2007

Blinding you with science and/or hydrochloric acid

Mr. Wizard hosted various science shows for kids throughout the 1950s and '60s, and more notably, he helmed a popular 1970s series with his second wife, Mrs. Norma Wizard (his first wife, Ms. Dutton-Wizard, did not pursue a career in science).

On his popular TV series, Wizard taught kids valuable science lessons like volcanoes are actually filled with baking soda and that vigorously rubbing a balloon will create static electricity as well as one really, really aroused balloon.

In other death-related news, World Wrestling Entertainment's Chairman Vince McMahon is presumed to have "died" Monday after the limo he boarded at the conclusion of last night's episode of WWE Raw exploded. Conveniently, the cameras were rolling the entire time to capture the incident, which, like all of wrestling, just couldn't possibly be scripted since wrestlers can't read.

Vince McMahon
WWE Chairman
August 24, 1945 - June 11, 2007???
The Rock sheds a tear for Vince McMahon
or, possibly, the box office failure of
Walking Tall.

The only way last night's wrestling finale could've been any more shocking would be if the episode had ended with absolutely nothing of consequence happening while a cheesy Journey song played in the background. Hmmm... and speaking of which -- and since deaths come in threes -- you could go for the bucket-kicking hat trick if you count the mass extermination of HBO subscriptions at the hands of pissed-off Sopranos fans. I guess Taxicab Confessions and Real Sex 32 aren't enough to keep people paying for premium cable. It doesn't take a dead science guy to figure that out.

1 comment:

silver said...

Ever since Harry Potter 6, Mr. Wizard has been my favorite living wizard. :(