Saved by the Screech

The life of a celebrity must be so hard. There's the long hours, the lack of privacy and the need to fake actual illness in order to cover for partying too damn hard. And as if all of that weren't enough of a hassle, sometimes some crazy bitch tries to steal your videogames!

Despite any sense of justice in the universe, Dustin Diamond aka "Screech" from "Saved by the Bell," has been out of mainstream consciousness for years, but I guess that doesn't stop crazy bitches from being crazy, now does it? I'm sure that, despite his "Surreal Life"-reject celebrity status, even the "D-man" has to deal with this kind of phenomenon all the time, so when the shit hits the fan, he's prepared.

Gimmie yer money or I'll mace you! You're bankrupt? Oh for fuck's sake. Gimmie them videogames, then, Screech. And Zack Morris' phone number.

So beware crazy bitches! If you're skinny enough and can't throw a decent punch, Dustin Diamond will totally kick your girly ass...at Playstation.