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Thursday, February 08, 2007

R.I.P. Anna Nicole

You can't beat fate. Anna Nicole Smith's death is untimely and tragic, but it didn't take a Vegas oddsmaker to predict that she'd be a quick payout for any celebrity dead pool list. The riskier bet would be whether or not her "acting" career qualifies her to make it as a last-minute addition to the Oscar ceremony's morbid yet tasteful "Dead People Montage." Her role in The Hudsucker Proxy might qualify as legitimate filmwork, but her questionable appearances on camera in Skyscraper or Playmates Bustin' Out, might cancel that out.

Anna Nicole Smith
November 28, 1967 - February 8, 2007
Statement of bad taste #302:
So, does this mean her newborn daughter has to get a shoulder tattoo depicting the baby with late brother Daniel and mother Anna Nicole?

Famous for gettin' naked & gettin' fat and for becoming the wife of a rich old guy & becoming the widow of a rich old guy, Anna Nicole is now on her way to becoming a martyr for latter-day celebutards like Paris, Nicole and Lindsay. Surely St. Trimspa will be keeping tabloid TV like Extra busy theorizing about her death: her son dies when her daughter is born... then Anna dies when the DNA tests are about to reveal her daughter's true father.

Could these be suicides related to the baby's father's true identity? Could the father be Anna Nicole's own son? Could I be going to hell any sooner? Just remember where you first heard this theory, 'cause if I'm right I'll be one hellbound jackass with a hell of an intuition. If I'm wrong, I'll just be a hellbound jackass. You can't beat fate.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That Stern dude did it...he's always in the room when one of them dies...I hope they take the baby away from him so he doesn't get the dead bazillionaire's dough..or is that why he did it? Or will the lawsuit continue with both parties (Anna and the gazillionnaire's son) both being gonzo? Stay tuned for another hollywood story!