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Saturday, July 08, 2006

Col. Sanders Gets Makeover, More Finger-Lickin' to Be Had

Struggling chicken chain KFC is clearly shifting into desperation mode. To lure new customers, KFC recently added new menu items like its Famous Bowls, a monstrosity of bite-size chicken on a bed of corn and mashed potatoes topped with cheese, but the result is more like when your TV dinner finds itself mixed into the same tray compartment minus the overcooked brownie with the random pea in it. In an even bigger sign of desperation, KFC has been test-marketing a new look for Colonel Sanders that gives a facelift to his extra crispy mug.

While an alleged nose job is failing to do wonders for Ashlee Simpson's career, KFC is hoping the Colonel's makeover will drum up business and make him more finger-lickin' good to the eyes. According to a press release, the new Colonel has been updated to look like a more "hip" and "active" 65-year-old from 2006 rather than a "crotchety" and "pee-reeking" 65-year-old from 1966. In either year, it seems that 65-year-olds bear a strong resemblance to Sigmund Freud as a plantation owner.

It's all in an effort to make the chicken slinger look "friendlier" and "more approachable," which is good news because we'd all really prefer to eat at places with mascots we could totally pick up in a bar.

In other makeover news, Subway has decided to make Jared wear a bag on his head.

A Hot Topic makeover for Ronald McDonald's face paint could make the mascot "edgier," "extreme" and more like the creepy loner who lives down the street.

1 comment:

Deitri said...

I miss the dancing Colonel. He didn't have skater-boy hair, but he was "hep."