As I first reported on this very website, Zach Braff is pursuing birthday girl Jessica Simpson. I just hope birthday candles are the only thing she's blowin' out tonite.
'Cause awww, shit, someone musta told Jess that Zach Braff actually is famous. They've been spotted together in the Hamptons and at places like Bungalow 8. That is so grody to the max. Jessica, get yourself together, girl! Please do not tell me your self-esteem is really that low--I know you have daddy issues and virgin issues and wah wah but come ON. Nick is bagging relatively hot chicks, you can't show him what's what with anyone from frickin' Scrubs, least of all Zach Braff. Stop it this instant, before your sister is more famous than you are, because you know if she gets herself some tittys while you're banging Chicken fucking Little then that's pretty much it for you, doll.
1 comment:
amen sistah
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