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Sunday, February 26, 2006

Celebrating Black History - The Brothers of "Star Wars"

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... there sure were a lot of white people! You may have been too caught up in the amazing epic space fantasy of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope to notice, but for a diverse galaxy full of all sorts of alien creatures, there sure were a lot of honkeys. Luckily, someone was paying attention and in time for the sequel, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, the Black fans of the Star Wars films finally got a character they can cheer for -- Lando Calrissian.

Lando (he's not a system, he's a man), is probably the coolest character in the entire Saga. A gambler, businessman, womanizer, player, and snappy dresser, Lando, or "ol' smoothie" as Jenni likes to call him in that lustful way that makes me a little uncomfortable, has it all going on. For starters, check out his fly bachelor pad. Name one woman who could resist living in a floating city of gorgeous sunsets. Sure, Leia managed to hold on to her love for Han, but if Darth Vader hadn't shown his crispy mug, Lando would have won her over in a matter of time.

Lando also clearly has the skills to pay the bills. I'm a hardcore SW fan and even I don't know what kind of "maneuver" he "pulled at the Battle of Tanaab" (I'm guessing three Twi'lek dancing girls AT ONCE!), but it was enough to get him promoted from guy-who-sells-out-his-friends-to-the-Dark-Lord-of-the-Sith to a goddamn GENERAL with a new cape and everything! Han even lets him borrow his old ship back! So you can imagine how craptacular it is for Lando to end up, at the conclusion of Return of the Jedi with nothing better to snuggle up with than Wicket W. Warrick.

But while Lando has the old school Trilogy covered, none other than the bad mofo of Jedi Masters, Mace Windu, is the dominant Force for the Black community in the prequel trilogy. There's not much that needs to be said about Mace Windu. He's second in skill only to Master Yoda (which meant a lot more before he got creamed by Palpatine). He was a flawless swordsman, could decimate thousands of battle droids with his FISTS (check out the first season of Clone Wars), and if not for some sniveling "Chosen One," would have saved the damn day. Among his other accomplishments, he managed to behead Jango Fett, which is pretty hardcore for a Star Wars movie, and a feat only surpassed by a BLIND Han Solo accidentally smacking Boba Fett in the jetpack and sending him screaming into a belching Sarlaac (can we get a ret-con on that one, Mr. Lucas?).

Don't make me get all Jedi on your ass.

So while the original Star Wars might have been a little on the "light" side of the Force, the five subsequent films managed to show us all just how cool Black characters can be, and that's something that works every time.


kimnrowdy said...

Mace Windu was way hotter than Lando. Sorry. That's my personal prefrence.

Deitri said...

I don't see Mace Windu as hot. Like, at all.

Lando had that silky hair that black men wore in the '70's and Terrance Howard wears in Hustle and Flow.

I vote Lando.