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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Dumb, Dirty Star Wars Names: A Sleazebaggano Tribute

This is stupid but explicit, so watch out.

One day, before the release of Episode 2, Jason and I were at Target or something and we flipped through and eventually bought a Star Wars coloring book based on the appearance of the "death stick salesman," because we couldn't believe the incredible stupidity of it all.

Years later (yet at this point, years ago), Jason IMed me with details on the name of the guy and more, and one of the dirtiest IM conversations not involving Princess Leia in a gold bikini transpired:

Jason: Get a load of the death stick salesman's name. This is straight from "The shadowy depths of Coruscant are full of many unsavory characters. A slimy narcotics peddler who frequents some of the entertainment district's nightclubs and gambling bars, Elan Sleazebaggano looked to make a quick credit by selling his illicit wares. After attempting to sell death sticks to a Jedi Knight, Sleazebaggano reportedly went home that night and completely rethought his life."

Jenni: Shut up

Jenni: That's worse than anything we could ever come up with

Jason: Seriously. Sleazebaggano.

Jenni: Crackwhoretta

Jenni: Analrapendo

Jenni: Fattassetto

Jason: Jar Jar Molesto-Wan

Jenni: Mas Tur Bator

Jenni: Eatmy Nutso

Jason: Booby Fetish

Jason: Mido Clitorians

Jenni: Bas Tardinian

Jenni: Fell Aceio

Jason: Han Jobbo

Jenni: Plugg the Hutt

Jason: Poon Tango

Jenni: Dildoinan Asz

Jason: Shlonggassia Erecto

Jenni: Drung Pucha

Jason: Testa Cullikkar

Jenni: Bak Dour

Yeah, we're sitting by the phone, waiting for Lucas to call us with job offers. We really think we have the hang of this. If we're this good with just naming shit in a super Star Wars-y way, just imagine how awesome we'd be at like, storylines and character arcs. Three words: Wookiee Ewok Gangbang.

Now that's what I call a sticky Wicket!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Steve need his Ewok back or he can't sleep. Please save him!